(with apologies to Paul Simon)
"The problem is all inside your head", he said to me
The answer is easy - you just take it orally
I'd like to help you in your quest for normality
For there are 21 ways to be subthreshold bipolar
Have you increased your goal-directed activity?
Are you subject to distractibility?
Engaged in an unrestrained buying spree?
There are 21 ways to be subthreshold bipolar
You been flat on your back, Jack
Making grand plans, Stan
Cheatin' on your boy, Roy
Well, listen to me
Hop on the shortbus
We don't need to discuss much
Just drop this off at the pharmacy
And get yourself free
He said that your pleasure-seeking can cause you so much pain
I wish there was something I could do to calm you down again
I said that's diagnostic bracket creep and I am not insane
In any of your 21 ways
He said I'll give you something to help you sleep tonight
And by the morning you'll have developed some insight
He patted my arm and I realized he probably was right
There must be 21 ways to be subthreshold bipolar
21 ways to be subthreshold bipolar
You been flat on your back, Jack
Making grand plans, Stan
Cheatin' on your boy, Roy
Well, listen to me
Hop on the shortbus
We don't need to discuss much
Just drop this off at the pharmacy
And get yourself free
***************************************************************
There are 21 ways to choose two symptoms from Part B of the diagnostic criteria for Subthreshold Bipolar Disorder as quoted by CL Psych in his critique of Merikangas et al's paper that was recently published in the Archives of General Psychiatry. (Choose more than two symptoms, and you're talking Bipolar I or II.) At Furious Seasons, there is also an analysis of the social implications of this gradual stretching of Bipolar I into a diagnostic black hole.
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4 comments:
*wild applause*
I'm sorry; it's not an especially intelligent comment, but that was damned funny. Looking forward to when you're public again, so I can link.
The "Hop on the shortbus" line there is perhaps the greatest thing ever.
dittos to the wanting to link...May I copy and give credit in the near future? That was flippin brilliant.
No problem. The blog is public again. Being borderline Asperger's (yes, yet another dx, sigh) does have its compensations - if I didn't have this idiotic compulsion to count everything under the sun, I would never have made the 21 Ways - 50 Ways connection.
Come to think of it, I haven't bothered to count all my diagnoses yet though. That would probably require some rather complicated generating functions and a Beowulf cluster to do all the high-volume computations.
I hope whoever wins the Furious Seasons contest has thought of something with less syllables so it sounds better when you actually sing it.
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