Hibernating

I'm decided to remove this blog from the public domain for the time being, until I've sorted my priorities out and addressed a few practical issues. There are basically three reasons why I'm taking it down:

1. I'm yet to adjust to the void in my life that unemployment has created. Even though I've increased my subject load at university, it still leaves long stretches of time in which the temptation to get lost in the past is overwhelming. And I'm continuing to question of wisdom of bringing this particular aspect of my life back into such focus, and finding that, at least at the moment, there are things I really don't want to think about right now. So I'm not sure if I want to post further, as an ersatz pearl diver, until I feel stronger.

2. Unemployment carries additional repercussions, surprise, surprise - such as the desire (that will eventually thicken into a need) to find another job. Although I wasn't fired from my most recent position, I left under a bit of a cloud, owing to a rather long and drawn-out breakdown in the relationship between me and my supervisor, a relationship that was always complicated, to say the least. He is aware of this blog and of my online identity - I had confessed all during our happier days. Now that I'm out of there, looking for another job, and relying upon him to provide a good reference, this blog represents the most concrete of our differences - I'm concerned he may pass on the URL and blow my cover; he's less than thrilled with the references to him and the nature of our relationship that pepper it. So, at least at the moment, the mere existence of this blog is something of provocation - and what it does provoke in me, thanks to what it may provoke in others, is an insidious anxiety. Which brings me to:

3. All of the above, but particularly the loss of my job and the relationship breakdown, have made me fairly miserable of late, as can be deduced from my 'K' post. While I think I'm over the worst of it, my demoralisation and resulting self-absorption have affected the quality of this blog, with my most recent posts being little more than exercises in the most cross-eyed of navel-gazing. 'Sharing experiences' is certainly an integral part of what this blog is about, but it is not meant to be a journal, or ironically enough, a place for people in crisis (as I rather stuffily requested in my first post). I have a sense of the Ideal Off-Label, but right now I'm stuck in the cave, watching (my own) shadows on the wall and posting about them as if it they were real and newsworthy. That may not bother everybody, but it sure as hell bothers me. And until I get over my 309.28 Adjustment Disorder or whatever you want to call it, I can't see the situation changing.

None of the above, however, means that I won't be reading and/or commenting on your blogs any longer - no way. In case this is not just the result of a spiking spasm of despondency that will straighten itself out within a few days, I'd just like to say thanks to you all (and particularly to Gianna) for the all the interesting, informative and supportive feedback I've received, and that I look forward to further dialogue, either on your own turf, or even on mine, if this blog should rise from the ashes of my meltdown.